Do you posses a clear idea about who you are? We are
constantly developing, and it can be quite difficult to appreciate ourselves,
whether as a teenager, as a young adult, or in our 50s. It is normal and
essential to try to know ourselves.
In order to appreciate yourself and establish a sense of
belonging to yourself, you need to be able to completely understand who you
are. A strong sense of self appreciation will help us move forward in life and put
importance to our experiences. Without it, we can feel lost.
Why can
we feel a loss of identity?
There are many reasons:
We put the needs of other people before ours. By focusing
on others and strongly neglecting ourselves, we cannot recognize and value
ourselves. We frequently forget what we are and what we need.
Thus we are disconnected from our thoughts and feelings.
It is very common for us to be so distracted by food, alcohol and electronic
devices that we lack information regarding who we are. Do you ever grab the
phone or a cookie when you feel a little bit uncomfortable? These kinds of
things usually prevent us from really knowing each other because we don't allow
ourselves to be curious and wonder how we feel.
We experience frequent changes in our lives and in our
roles. Experiences such as divorce, retirement, death of a loved one , loss of
job,, or any other traumatic event can result in a loss of sense of self
because we lose the benchmarks that we had in our daily life and in the role of
the person we are.
We feel ashamed and unworthy, and we then tend to bury
parts of ourselves. We have been told that we are bad, stupid, weird ,or
useless. Sometimes we have been criticized or harassed. For example, maybe you
liked to play chess when you are a child but were told that it was not
"father" to join the chess club. Maybe you were harassed because of
your sexual orientation and tried to deny it. We understand that we have to
conform to a certain standard to be accepted. So we put all our rough edges
together so that we can fit in and be someone we really are not. After many
years of this, we lose the sense of who we really are.
Questions
to help us get to know you better
1. 1. What
are my strengths?
2. What
are my short term goals? What are my Long-term goals?
3. Who is the most important person for me? Whom can I trust?
4. What am I ashamed of?
5. What do I like to do for fun?
6. What new activities or things might interest me or want to try?
7. What usually worries me?
8. What are my values? What do I believe in? (politics,ideology, religion, social aspects ...).
9. If I could make a wish, what would it be?
10. Where do I feel safer (better)?
11. Who or what gives me inner peace?
12. If you weren't afraid, what would you do?
13. What is the achievement and results that makes me most proud?
14. What is my biggest failure?
15. Am I an animal by day or by night? How can I organize my daily life so that it adapts better to my nature?
16. What do I like about my work? And what is it that I don't like?
17. What does my inner critic say about me?
18. What things do I do to show that I am compassionate and caring for myself?
19. Am I an introvert or an extrovert? Am I more motivated or influenced to be with other people or alone?
20. What is it that I'm mostly passionate about?
21. What is my happiest memory in life?
22. What do my dreams tell me to do?
23. What is my favorite book? My movie? My band? My plate? My color? My pet?
24. What am I grateful for?
25. When I feel sad, what do I like to do?
26. What makes me know that I am stressed?
3. Who is the most important person for me? Whom can I trust?
4. What am I ashamed of?
5. What do I like to do for fun?
6. What new activities or things might interest me or want to try?
7. What usually worries me?
8. What are my values? What do I believe in? (politics,ideology, religion, social aspects ...).
9. If I could make a wish, what would it be?
10. Where do I feel safer (better)?
11. Who or what gives me inner peace?
12. If you weren't afraid, what would you do?
13. What is the achievement and results that makes me most proud?
14. What is my biggest failure?
15. Am I an animal by day or by night? How can I organize my daily life so that it adapts better to my nature?
16. What do I like about my work? And what is it that I don't like?
17. What does my inner critic say about me?
18. What things do I do to show that I am compassionate and caring for myself?
19. Am I an introvert or an extrovert? Am I more motivated or influenced to be with other people or alone?
20. What is it that I'm mostly passionate about?
21. What is my happiest memory in life?
22. What do my dreams tell me to do?
23. What is my favorite book? My movie? My band? My plate? My color? My pet?
24. What am I grateful for?
25. When I feel sad, what do I like to do?
26. What makes me know that I am stressed?
The goal is not to answer these questions at a glance, but
to explore them in depth. To do this, we suggest that you respond only once or
twice a day. Work on them at your own pace, and if you feel like responding
once a week is enough, do it: there is no judgment, and it is not a race.
Taking the time to get to know each other is very important, and it can take a
long time to think, speak, write and also to build.